Folks say that I’ve got a good sense of humor. My Mom says that I’m HILARIOUS! To lighten things up during our present-day global pandemic, I decided I would share with you my experience of moving to my own idyllic tropical island.
So here I am, Day 1 on my very own island paradise!
Wait a minute, does my hair really look this dorky!? And my shirt, good grief!!! Sure, I have a nifty tent and a groovy fruit tree but I better start exploring to find a respectable hairstylist and maybe The Gap? (Puh-lease… let my island have The Gap, I need some casual chinos!)
So I started exploring my island. I met this raccoon (Er… is that a raccoon?) named Tom Nook.
Then I met a blue bear named Kody.
He said, “Grah Grah.” Isn’t that what a bear says when it’s HUNGRY!? Right before it EATS YOU!? I slowly back away from Kody. “Nice bear,” I say. “Nice bear…”
Then I met a purple talking kangaroo named Sylvia. At least she didn’t seem interested in eating me!
But a PURPLE TALKING Kangaroo!!!??? Maybe I need to lie down.
Then I bumped into the bear, Kody again. He said something about “glutes.”
“AARGH, DON’T EAT ME YOU FREAKY BEAR!!!”
You know how they say that if you get attacked by a bear you should lie on the ground and play dead? That’s just plain giving up! I’m not making myself an easy meal for Kody and his ravenous bear appetite! Heck no! I ran for it!
They say that bears can run faster, swim farther, and climb better than a human. Well, “PROVE IT, Kody, you jerk!” I say! I ran, I swam, and I climbed. Kody didn’t catch me.
After all that terror and physical exertion, I found myself back with Tom Nook at the campfire. Kody was there too but I ignored him.
Tom Nook and those other two raccoons (ARE THEY raccoons?) offered me some “cherry juice.” YEAH, RIGHT. “Cherry juice.” (Wink, wink.) I’ll just have a big ol’ glass of cherry juice to take the edge off. Make mine a double!
After drinking a few glasses of cherry juice, I suddenly felt tired. And somewhat woozy. And I was still seeing purple talking kangaroos! I felt the responsible thing to do was to find my way back to my tent and get some much-needed rest.
My first day on my island was exhilarating! I traveled all the way from Vancouver, Canada to wherever the heck this island is. I met some weird raccoon dude (IS HE a raccoon!?) Met a purple kangaroo. Got chased by a ravenous bear. Drank WAY TOO MUCH cherry juice! When my head hit the pillow on my cot in my nifty little tent I instantly fell… ZZZZZZZZZZ…